For context I’m 37M and she is 38F. We are in USA.

So when I say my wife is on short term disability, she is not recovering from surgery or anything like that. She is taking leave from her full time job due to some mental health issues. I know that is hard, I did the same thing 2 years ago. I was off work for 4 months and went to probably 400 hours of professional help during the 2023 calendar year. I’m doing the best I can to support her, I called and filed the disability claim, called her doctors and set up urgent meetings and we go to both individual and couples therapy.

We have been having communication issues for the last few years, especially since the birth of our child. I know I am to blame for a large part (previously mentioned personal issues of mine caused her to become guarded towards me) I have made changes to my habits and lifestyle, changed careers from sales to an analyst position where I now WFH.

I feel she does not share with me how her recovery is going, she rarely talks about what happened in any of her sessions and both her and her therapist have mentioned that she has avoidance issues with that. She has been going to therapy for these issues every week or every 2 weeks for probably 9-10 months so between 20-30 1 hour sessions. Last week she even told me she forgot to do her homework for that. I admittedly got upset at that news.

Now we are on day 29 of her leave, and today is her 21st work day off work. I have done my best to be patient, to see how I can help her and anything else that I can. But I have not seen or heard from her about what she is doing to recover from this crisis before she has to return to work.

We went to a couples counseling session and I will say I have some personal work to do to be the best version of myself per the guidance of the therapist, but here is my actual question.

Today she tells me that she wants time to herself (30 min-1 hr) every night after our child gets home from school and on weekends to work on her recovery. From what I understand not at nap time or after our child is asleep. I tried my best to calmly ask if it would be possible for her to do that in the afternoons while I am working and our kid is at school. She said she wanted it to be the same time every day and all she was asking for was a little time to herself. I said I understand that but I was just wanting to discuss finding a solution that would work for all of us and not take away from family time after work/school. But at this point she became irate and started raising her voice saying I never support her and can’t even give her this small amount of time. It got heated and I walked away to come make this post.

So AITAH?

TL;DR wife is off work bc of mental health issues but only wants to work on her issues during after work/school and weekends while I suggested she do it in the afternoons while she is on leave.

:edit: I gotta get little one and spend time with him I’ll reply to everyone after bedtime.