When my son was a year old, his mother had an affair and left us. I won primary custody, and she only sees him on the weekends due to moving 3 hours away to continue her affair. We are civil but certainly not friends.

My son is now four and is having behavioral problems at school. He hits other kids and seemingly has no remorse whatsoever. I know at four that isn’t uncommon, but it needs to be addressed nonetheless. I found a local councillor who works with kids and made an appointment. I told his mother about the appointment, and she decided to come.

My parents also got divorced when I was very young, so I know firsthand what it can do to kids when they feel like they need to be different people at different houses.

I see that in my kids, and I hate it for them. I told the therapist at the intake about his mother’s affair and her leaving us when he was only a year old, that she makes him call her affair partner “dad” and that she speaks ill of me to him, which makes him not respect me and act out.

We are not her patients, so I didn’t do that out of animosity because I know she wouldn’t care. I did it because it is relevant and definitely affecting my son.

His mom, like all adulterers, denies guilt for what she did and was very upset at me for telling his therapist those things. I felt they were necessary in helping her understand how our son might be feeling. AITA?