I (18f) live with my dad and his wife. My mom died when I was 5. She was sick for a while and I don’t really remember much about the end, but I do remember her when things were still normal. She was really gentle. She’d make up songs for stuff like brushing teeth and putting on socks. My dad didn’t talk about her much after she died.

He met his wife when I was 7 and they got married the next year. She was always nice enough. Bought me stuff. Took me places. But from the start she wanted to be “mom” and I never wanted that.

I didn’t hate her or anything, but I already had a mom and I didn’t want another one. I told her that when I was 10 and she said I was breaking her heart. I still remember the look on her face.

Since then we’ve just coexisted. She calls herself my mom in public and online. She signs birthday cards with “mom.” I’ve never corrected her to her face but I also never call her that. It’s always been tense under the surface but we never really talked about it.

Now that I’m 18, she’s been trying to make a big push to “reconnect” before I move out. She keeps bringing up the idea of a “fresh start” and how she wants to be in my life long-term — at my wedding someday, when I have kids, all of it. I told her I don’t want to keep pretending. That she’s not my mom and she never will be. That I’ll always be polite but I’m not going to fake a relationship that doesn’t feel real.

She cried. My dad didn’t say anything at first but later he told me I shouldn’t have said that and that she’s tried her best for years. That I was cruel and I should fix it.

I don’t know. I don’t think I was cruel. I was honest. But maybe it didn’t need to be said out loud.

AITA?