Okay so this sounds wild, but just hear me out.

A while ago, I had a yeast infection from taking too many antibiotics. Super common, super annoying, but nothing serious. Got it treated, all good.

Now, my best friend is dating this guy who gave her an STD. Also treatable, not the end of the world. But instead of admitting he cheated, he told her she probably got it from a toilet seat. Which, like… come on. That’s not how STDs work. But she believed him. And now she’s scared of toilet seats, especially mine, because she knows I once had that yeast infection and apparently that means I’m some biohazard zone now??

Anyway, a few days ago I found out she BROKE my toilet seat. And not just any cheap seat, I’m talking soft-close, high-quality, expensive kind of toilet seat. I was like, how???

She admitted that she squats on top of the toilet seat with her feet up there, like she’s camping in the woods or something, because she’s scared of catching “germs” from sitting down. She was constipated, sat too long, her legs went numb, she lost her balance, panicked, grabbed the seat, and broke the whole thing.

And she hit her wrist or something in the process. But when she told me, I swear, my first reaction was “OMG MY TOILET SEAT”

Like yeah, she hurt her hand, but all I could think about was my poor destroyed toilet seat.

So yeah, I got mad. I told her she has to pay for the new one and that from now on, she’s not allowed to use my bathroom unless she sits like a normal person. She called me dramatic and a germ gatekeeper, but like It’s my toilet, I don’t want it turned into a jungle gym!

Then she got all upset, saying I’m policing her sh*ting position and acting like I’m some medical expert just because I had a yeast infection one time and now I think I’m a doctor.

So now she’s mad, I’m mad, and honestly the toilet seat died for nothing. AITA?