My parents are divorced. They have me (17f) and my brother (19m). We were 2 and 4 when the divorce happened and we don’t remember them being together. I was 6 when my stepmother was introduced and 9 when her and dad got married. My mom hasn’t remarried or dated since the divorce. My dad and stepmother have three boys together, my half brothers. Making me the only girl. This has made me the kid my stepmother “fights” for more.

My mom and stepmother don’t like each other and while it wasn’t always as obvious as it is now, my brother and I picked up on it when we were kids. We always kind of knew it was an either or thing with them not liking each other and we pick our mom every single time.

That didn’t happen a ton. But there was a thing our middle school did where we (the students) were asked to bring in our moms who had careers outside the home to talk about them. Both my mom and stepmother worked but we only asked mom to come

. My stepmother knew about it and she was hurt. I heard her tell dad she hated knowing she was passed up for the chance to get involved because we asked.

Anything that was for Mother’s Day, like when I played soccer as a kid and we had practices where we could bring our moms, I would invite mom every single year and I never invited my stepmother. My brother was in dance classes and he’d invite mom for that stuff. Or if a parent was needed or could be invited he’d ask mom. My stepmother always seemed to care more about the stuff I invited mom to more than she cared about my brother inviting mom. My stepmother would ask me about stuff or want to know if there were things coming up I wanted her to do with me. My dad would ask who I wanted to ask or who I wanted to take me to stuff. They’d comment that my stepmother always wanted to try something or how she loved doing something. Like she was “fighting” to be asked instead of mom.

Two weekends ago one of the clubs I’m in was doing a pre-Mother’s Day weekend camping trip. We knew about it several weeks in advance and we were told we could bring anyone we wanted. I asked my mom. My stepmother saw the newsletter about it and she asked me if we could go instead of me and mom. I told her I had already asked my mom and she looked upset. She told me she loved camping, which I knew, and she thought it could be our thing. I told her I wanted to take mom.

My dad asked me why I chose mom over my stepmother for it when my stepmother was the more obvious choice. I told him because mom’s my mom. He asked me what other reason and I told him that was my reason. He told me it was a pretty lame reason and that I have two moms technically and since I’m always with mom on Mother’s Day I could give my stepmother the camping trip. He told me it’s about time I start choosing my stepmother back because she’d have to give up eventually and I told him I was fine with that but I wouldn’t choose her over my mom. He told me to reconsider and really think about how much it would mean to pick my stepmother for a change.

The weekend of the trip I went with my mom liked planned. My dad gave me some shit before I left and after I got back. He told me he should’ve stopped me going if I was going to disrespect my stepmother like that. He texts me every few days now and tells me I made the wrong choice, I should have been kinder to my stepmother when I did this and he told me I should try to make it up to her.

The thing is I don’t regret my choice and I don’t even feel bad. My stepmother is not my mom. I’m not close to her. She’s not the person I wanted there. But I know that I hurt her feelings and hurt dad or annoyed him and so I figure I should ask if I was wrong to pick mom again. AITA?