So, I (22F) come from a family that always called me ungrateful, not because I was but because I was always a loudmouth and pointed out odd things when I noticed them, like how every Christmas, birthday etc my siblings would get gifts like the toys they always wanted, new clothes, and all I got was either a card or a promise to buy me anything when we went out (spoiler, never happened),

naturally this messed me up bad, I was always trying to change to please my parents, I tried being quiet and not needing their help, but by that point I was already the family’s black sheep, the one that my mom would call out during big family events disguising it as jokes, the difficult one

Long story short, I got a part time job at 16, then worked my ass off and I finally landed a pretty decent corporate job last year, it’s not exactly life changing money but it’s enough for me to have moved out,

and now I live in a shared apartment with two other girls, I save up ofc but I live comfortably, enough to make small trips and take nice pictures at some restaurants, I’ve never blocked my family but I also don’t engage with them

So it came as a surprise when my mom called me two weeks ago to check on me according to her, she made questions like how’s work and how my posts always made her think of when I was a little girl and smiled a lot, crappy emotional tactics that I grew up with lol she started mentioning how nice it was to be so young, make money and not have that many responsibilities, or expenses, I corrected her that I had rent, and to buy groceries, she dismissed those, and then the topic steered to my younger brother, he got a few acceptance letters and apparently he threw a tantrum about needing to attend one where all his friends are going (yes, it’s like too expensive, I searched it up and holy crap), so my mom started mentioning my brother and I growing up and how we used to be so close – honestly that day I was exhausted, so I told my mom it was nice hearing from her and that I was happy for my brother, but that I wasn’t in a place to help with his tuition

This woman was actually stunned, she said I could think about it, because family is family and all that stuff, we said our goodbyes, and I slept thinking about it, so I woke up the next day, and drafted a message that was polite but clear, about how I was never treated fairly and how I was not bitter but I wasn’t in a financial spot to help with those expenses – yeah, the guilt tripping started immediately, messages, not even kidding 14 missed calls from my mom, even my dad called and he’s a pretty stoic man, my brother started whining on social media about ungrateful family members and how some people are bitter and end up alone

I feel like I’m in the right, but honestly my parents have involved aunts, cousins, family friends, and all the texts and posts are starting to get to me a little bit, maybe I am being too harsh, my brother has always been spoiled but it’s not like he kicked me out or made me feel worse, still, I don’t feel like giving up my lifestyle to help someone who called me a ‘bitter b’ on his latest Instagram rant, so I need help, am I in the wrong?