I (M30) have been with my girlfriend Lily (F28) not her real name for just over two years. She’s more reserved and doesn’t express her feelings easily. Right now, I’m the one working and covering most of our expenses.

We get along well, but she can be frustrating sometimes. For example, she won’t do chores because she’s afraid she’ll do them wrong but still finds time to clean up her own things. She also refuses to cook for both of us but cooks for herself and clearly knows what she’s doing. It’s annoying, but we’re trying to work on it.

Now to the bigger issue is I’ve been saving for a house since 2016 and finally found the one I want. When I told Lily, she got upset. She said I should wait until we’re married or put her name on the deed. I said no. I’ve worked too hard to make this happen.

She said it felt like I was leaving her out and that it created a power imbalance. She gave me two choices, wait until marriage to buy it or add her to the title. I refused and told her to drop it. She did for a while.

Then at a dinner with her family, she brought it up again, saying she felt like she had no say in our future and couldn’t accept being left out. I lost my patience and said, You feel like you don’t contribute because you actually don’t. Maybe start by getting a job and contributing financially. Everyone went quiet. She walked out, and her mom later told me Lily was overwhelmed and needed space.

Her mom also said I was being controlling and even hinted it was financial abuse. Now Lily wants to talk again and probably expects me to change my mind.

So, AITAH?