I (29f) will refer to my boyfriend’s (37m) daughter (13f) as Jane to avoid having to constantly call her my boyfriend’s daughter. Blame me for the age gap not my boyfriend. I chased him and he initially said he didn’t want to date a younger woman. His late wife (Jane’s mom) was actually older than him. I met Jane early this year and the poor baby has cystic acne. Of course, I didn’t bring up the topic. Early this month was when Jane brought up the topic to me. She said she wished she was pretty like me and she called herself ugly. I asked her why she thinks she’s ugly, and she said because of her acne. I told her she’s pretty, and she said that’s what her dad says all the time. She then said but her dad has to say that because he’s her dad. She then said I have to say that because I’m her dad’s girlfriend. I talked to my boyfriend about what his daughter said and I asked him what medication she’s on. My boyfriend said he wouldn’t get treatment for her acne because “she’s perfect the way she is.” My boyfriend told me more about his late wife. How from 12 years old, she faught a losing battle with acne until the day she died. How his late wife thought she looked so ugly. Her plastic surgeries, restrictive eating, and excessive exercise. He said his late wife’s pregnancy weight gain make her eating disorder worse, which lead to her death when Jane was 4. My boyfriend said he doesn’t want Jane to suffer like her mom did. He said he wants his daughter to know she’s perfect as she is. I understand my boyfriend’s logic but I don’t think his plan with Jane is working. I feel awkward saying anything because I’m not Jane’s parent, and my boyfriend’s feeling for his late wife is all rapped in this. But I want to help Jane and I think what is best for her is treatment for her acne. Am I the asshole ?