My sister-in-law and I were once close until my partner and I got engaged and chose a wedding venue that apparently wasn’t the one she wanted us to pick (we were never told this). After that, things deteriorated quickly.
She got upset when we shared wedding plans in a family group chat, so I created a separate chat without her to respect her wishes. She later discovered it by snooping and has held a grudge for years, still referring to it sarcastically.
The night before the wedding, she dressed her daughter in a different gown from the flower girl dress we provided and called our chosen dresses “stripper dresses.” She also told people she wouldn’t attend—then showed up anyway.
After a family vacation that ended in a short honeymoon extension (which we paid for, using travel points from a family member), she sent a long message accusing me of using everyone and tearing the family apart.
When we didn’t respond, she sent a follow-up saying:
“This is day 2 of no response. They must be ‘super distraught’ or ‘don’t give a sh*t.’”
She later texted someone else in the family:
“Stop licking their f*ing aholes and call them out.”
We’ve been no contact for about 7 years now but she continues to find ways to provoke. Years later, when she found out through someone else that I was pregnant, she sent this:
“Congrats on the baby! Lost job/got pregnant—couldn’t have played that one better myself.” “You single-handedly started this… I’m doubling down… I don’t have anything to lose!”
Most recently, she mailed me a book about manipulation with a note that said “2025: a year of self-awareness!” despite being blocked on all platforms and my husband and I not having spoken to her in years.
I’ve never responded to any of her messages. I don’t involve her in my life in any way. And yet I still feel conflicted. Part of me feels bad for how far things have gone. But most of me just wants peace. Also, there’s 7 years worth of stories to tell on here from her, but not enough time to type it.
So… AITA for maintaining no contact and continuing to ignore her attempts to reinsert herself into my life, even if she believes I’m the problem?
