At age 19, I wanted to join the military in my EU home country, though my parents talked me out of it, I wanted a stable job with good benefits and early retirement. They told me to go study and I decided to move to the UK to study, I did that and finished my degree within 3 years and within a week was in a graduate job. My family told me to take a break from work and study but I decided I want to have F you money, an emergency fund and that’s what I did, aggressively worked and saved for 1 year.

Then quit, and listened to my family to move back home. The difference in work-life balance, mentality was severe. I wasn’t happy though I was paid well, jobs were scarce and I did not see any prospects for adequate financial and career growth in my hometown, where mostly food manufacturing and agriculture is present.

I thought I’d rather move back abroad if I have to move to the other end of the country to earn a living, taking a flight to the UK is easier. I didn’t find the family support and understanding I needed.

I wanted to get a flat there – my family tried to discorage me from buying property, then started to tell me how I should buy it when it nearly doubled in price after 3-4 years of me trying to ask them to help me find a flat as I had the money. I felt lonely and had enough of the place.

And that’s what I did, settled worked my ass off and am now in a secure government role whilst I saved every penny. My family kept pressuring me and manipulating me to quit my job and move back, to which my response was “TO what?” I didn’t want to live with my parents again or accept jobs with unfavorable pay and benefits packages, I don’t think it gets much better than the public sector in the UK.

What drove me away was family politics and my dad actively manipulating family members so thinks can always go his way. When he failed to earn a living outside of home and made wrong decisions due to alcohol or poor knowledge, he blamed my mom and tried to coercively ask for more and more money from her. I couldn’t stand it, but then again I was blamed for leaving. He has now passed away, but I’m left with the guilt of leaving, though, when you think about it, who would’ve wanted to stay? I Found all of this to distract me severely from my goals in life – one can only have so much attention and energy do deal with BS.

I’m 28 now and honestly do not ever see myself going back, I do visit my family every 3 months so that’s as much as I can do for them unfortunately. I refuse to be manipulated by family or friends…