I (31F) recently told my mother (58F) that she cannot live with me, and I’m standing by that. She’s been trying to guilt me into letting her move in “for a while,” but I honestly don’t care how that makes me look. I’m not putting my child through what I went through.
My dad died when I was 6. After that, it was just me and my mom—and her alcohol. She started drinking more and more. By the time I was 9, she was drunk almost every day. Sometimes she’d pass out in the middle of the afternoon, sometimes she’d rage. She’d scream at me for things that made no sense. She’d throw things. She hit me more times than I can count.
I remember once I spilled juice on the couch and she hit me so hard I couldn’t go to school the next day because of the bruise. There was no safety in that house. No comfort. I basically raised myself. She never got help. Never saw a therapist. Never stopped drinking. She just expected me to “get over it” because “that’s in the past.”
Now that she’s older and living alone, she says she’s lonely and wants to “start over” by moving in with me. But nothing’s changed. She still drinks. She still makes excuses. And now I have a 4-year-old daughter who I refuse to expose to that kind of instability, fear, or trauma.
I told her no. I told her I would help her find other options, but she’s not welcome to live in my home. I have a stable life now, a safe home, and a peaceful environment. I’ve worked hard for that. I’m not willing to risk it—especially not for someone who caused so much damage and never took accountability for it.
She called me heartless. Said I owe her for “everything she sacrificed” raising me. But honestly, I don’t owe her anything. She didn’t protect me. I had no one but myself.
Now I do have someone to protect—my daughter.
So… AITAH for refusing to let my abusive, alcoholic mother live with me—even if that means cutting her off completely?