Me (28M) and my girlfriend (28F) were having a conversation about threesomes, which tbh felt like a set up to begin with. She asked me if there was no negative consequences, and she asked me to have a threesome, would I be okay with it.
I told her that in reality would make me feel weird because I love her and so that would introduce a strange dynamic into our relationship, but if there’s no negatives whatsoever then why not.
I made it clear to her that this has no basis in reality and that if she reduces it purely to a question of sexual pleasure without regards to our relationship, then yes I would be okay with it.
This now switched to her being angry that I could possibly be sexually attracted to someone else, which to me is just an immature thing to get angry about. To make things worse, she told me that there’s celebrities she finds sexy but that she’s not sexually attracted to them, which to me sounds like some form of cognitive dissonance cos wtf does that mean?!
I told her in reality I am not interested in pursuing a threesome with somebody else, and that the only reason I answered yes is because she’s created an imaginary scenario in which there is no negatives. She told me she cannot feel any sexual attraction to someone else if she is in love. Which to me feels like she’s lying to herself, especially if she can tell me specific celebrities that she thinks are sexy.
I honestly think her mindset is immature and it’s making her feel insecure and to quote her “less of a woman”. She said it makes her just another body to play with which is ridiculous because it just erases every other aspect of the relationship.
I honestly don’t think I’m the asshole here, but I needed to hear it from third party neutral people because I don’t think she’ll hear it from me. And if I am the asshole, how am I gnna address it with her?