AITA for expecting my dad to make his wife leave me alone and telling her I don’t care that he was a bad husband to her?

God this is fucking annoying. My parents have been divorced for a really long time now. Probably like 15 years now. I’m 17 so I don’t remember them being together.

They divorced because dad cheated with the woman he’s married to, Sarah. It’s always been obvious my dad missed my mom and regretted breaking up their marriage. But he never regretted it enough to end everything with Sarah and just focus on being a good dad. Instead he married Sarah eventually but she was always second best.

I never liked Sarah because she was always open about hating my mom and I didn’t like that. She’d say in front of me that mom had let herself go since having me, that she was never that pretty from the photos she saw and didn’t get why he ever liked her.

She’d say mom was a bad mother because my hair was a mess (my hair’s so difficult to manage and it’s really wavy/curly) and because I wasn’t dressed in really fashionable clothes. She’d lash out at my dad’s relatives for asking me about mom. She even called my mom a sl**** dumb c*nt right in front of me when I was 9.

Even with all that my dad would talk about mom A LOT and he’d make excuses to be around her. He’d show up to my extra curricular’s and spend more time focused on mom than me. He sent my mom birthday gifts every year but gave nothing to Sarah. He missed their anniversary every year. Sarah was in the hospital twice since they got married, once for her appendix and another was an ulcer or something, and he didn’t visit her but my dad tried to see my mom when she had knee surgery.

He didn’t care when I didn’t tell Sarah where I was going and just left his house to do stuff. She’d get upset and talk about the lack of respect. Which I don’t respect her. Dad never cared. I knew he treated her like shit. I could see it was mom he wanted and he was with her because once he cheated there was no coming back from it. But Sarah clung on for so long.

Now their marriage is in deep shit and Sarah’s all about trying to force a relationship with me that isn’t there. She’s tried to get me to say I want a relationship with her if she and my dad divorce. Or she’s told me about her hurt feelings and cried when I shrugged and left her to talk to herself about it. I stopped going to my dad’s because of it and I ignore her calls, then I muted her and later blocked Sarah. But she’d try to pick me up from school to hang out and she showed up at my job a few times wanting to walk me home and stuff. I always turned her down and she’d get upset.

So I went to my dad’s house the other night and told him I wanted him to make Sarah leave me alone. I told him I was so tired of her acting like I give a shit about her. And I told Sarah that I don’t care that dad was a bad husband to her and that she’s second best. I said I always saw that and I never cared about her so stop burdening me with her feelings and leave me alone regardless of what she decides.

Yesterday my dad was going crazy about it all. He told me my expectations were too high and he bitched about Sarah wanting marriage counseling. He said it was my fault because of all the stuff I said. I know Sarah’s an adult and my dad can’t control her so maybe it was wrong for me to expect him too. Might have been wrong to say what I did to Sarah too. AITA?

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