Last year my dad lost his wife of 20 years. A few weeks after her death my wife and I learned we were expecting our first child. My dad saw this as a gift from his wife and he and my half siblings (all in their teens) expected me to name my child after her. Either through the first or the middle name. My dad even argued that we could still use a masculine version of the name if we had a boy.

This was not something I ever intended to do and I told my dad we weren’t looking at her name or any similar names for our child. My dad told me that made no sense given the timing of everything.

My wife and I pulled back from him and my half siblings over this. Their anger over the decision has been strong and my dad has been trying like hell to convince me otherwise. He doesn’t know the sex of the baby but I know the name will bother him.

We decided to honor my late mom in a less direct way by naming our daughter after a flower that was my mom’s favorite. My dad will pick up on it immediately and I know it will bother him that I chose to honor my mom over his wife.

So I decided to come in firmly and make it clear and leave no room for doubt that my wife and I are not choosing his wife’s name or anything connected to her. I told him this is not up for discission or debate anymore and the decision is final. And that the signs he and my half siblings saw to make it make sense were not shared by me.

In my mind she had three kids so one of them can name a future child after her. But she was not my mother and I was not too fond of her. That’s simply it. Her death changed nothing for me regarding that and she’s not someone I would want to name my child after.

Ever since I came out and spoke clearly I can see the anger in my dad and half siblings has intensified. They haven’t told me directly but they rant about me to other relatives and they have said I’m an insensitive asshole. My dad even ranted to relatives about the length of time she was in my life vs my mom and how disgusting it is that I wouldn’t honor that. He does not know that we’ve chosen a name that ties to my mom. This is just him ranting.

But I want to know if people think I’m TA to be so firm about this or for outright rejecting the idea even. AITA?