My mom waked out of my life when I (18m) was a baby. My dad raised me on his own for almost two years and then he met my stepmom and they got married. My stepmom was a young widow with a 7 and 9 year old from her first husband.

She was super close to her late husband’s family and her own. Still is. My dad didn’t have a good relationship with his and we had no contact with my mom’s family. So any holidays we split between my stepmom’s family and her late husband’s family and any parties or events they were invited as extended family.

I was not accepted by either family. It’s weird to think I spent so much time with her late husband’s family but they welcomed her and my stepsiblings and dad and I were tolerated as a result. With her family it was different. They welcomed my dad and were glad she had remarried but they didn’t like having an unrelated kid around.

My relationship with my stepsiblings was always distant and they never saw me as family, let alone a sibling of any kind. It was worse when we were around their different families. When no adults were around and all the kids were sent off together they’d tell their cousins I wasn’t family and said I was just “fuckface’s son” and fuckface is what they called my dad whenever the adults weren’t around.

Any birthday parties thrown for me were so awkward. Sometimes they came without gifts and just focused on my stepsiblings and acted like it was their birthdays or they’d say they couldn’t come and would ignore that it had ever been my birthday. At Christmas I was left out of the gift exchange except for what my dad and stepmom got me. I was always conveniently hidden or too far out to be in family photos that got taken. There was one time both sides were together and everyone got into the photo. When the photos were printed it ended at the person next to me and you’d never know I was there.

My stepmom invited her parents to the concert my school used to throw for the grandparents and they always had excuses about why they couldn’t be there. My favorite is when one of her nieces was in a couple of grades below me and my grades was at 2 and her niece’s grade was at 3 and they got there with seconds to spare. They’d told my stepmom they were too busy to be there but then it turned out they had two hours to kill and went window shopping waiting for the concert to start. They just didn’t want to show up to mine.

I get that I was never their sibling for my stepsiblings, grandkid or nephew or cousin for my stepmom’s family or her late husband’s family. But there was always this expectation put on me by my dad and stepmom that they were my family and siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

By the time I was 14 I was coming up with ways to avoid being around them. I spent a lot of time at my best friend’s house and with his family. They’re the family who always welcomes everyone and they adore me so I focused on building up my relationship with them. It annoyed my parents but I know when I’m not wanted or cared for and my stepmom’s kids, her family and her ILs do not want me.

I moved out in January after a fight with my parents over graduation. My stepsiblings were already super clear that they didn’t find it important enough to come home for and would instead be home for two of their cousins graduations days after mine. Then the fight turned to inviting stepmom’s family and her ILs. I said absolutely not and my parents said I had to. I pointed out that it would be a waste of time and paper if we printed them out because none of them would want to come and if they did it would be to focus on someone else and if they didn’t it would be awkward as hell.

They weren’t giving up so I moved in with my best friend’s parents. But my parents still chase me on this and even with just over a week to go they are being annoying af about it and saying I still have time to invite the families. They think I’m wrong not to.

AITA?

And just in case anyone’s curious about my mom and bio families. None of them want to know even now. I was rejected by everyone I found and reached out to.