This might be complicated so I’ll (17f) try to explain it so everyone can follow along.

My mom got married to Nick last year. Nick’s someone we have history with. More specifically he had history, bad history, with my dad.

My dad and uncle (dad’s brother) went to school with Nick and they had bad blood since school. I have a few memories of my dad and Nick avoiding each other when I was little.

And I remember one time Nick called my dad a r-worded c*nt. I mostly remember that because my dad told me I should never call people those things or use the r-word at all and to ignore Nick when he talked like that.

My dad died when I was 6. Some drunk driver hit him with their car while he was on the sidewalk. A couple of days after dad died my uncle, aunt and my grandpa were going to bring flowers to the spot and Nick was there.

Nick started yelling at my uncle and he talked about pissing on my dad’s grave. My grandpa had to take me back to his and grandma’s house because he didn’t want me to see or hear more of that.

Before my dad died there was a weirdness between Nick and his ex-wife (wife at the time) and my mom and dad because my mom and Nick started acting friendly. I assume an affair was what my dad and Nick’s ex were thinking of but maybe I’m wrong. Mom always claimed she was just trying to put an end to the issues the two had because we all lived in the same smallish town.

A year after my dad died mom was remarried. Her second husband and her had my two half siblings together before they divorced. The divorce was hard on my half siblings and they split time between mom and their dad.

Two years ago, with my mom and Nick both divorced they started dating. Nick has four kids with his ex wife and mom has three of us. Nick’s kids don’t like my half siblings and my half siblings don’t like Nick’s kids. My half siblings don’t like Nick because they have a dad and same thing for Nick’s kids and my mom because they have a mom. So it’s already chaotic and not exactly a successful blended family.

But where things are extra bad right now is me and Nick. Nick is trying super hard to spend time and bond with me. He told me he knows it’s been a long time since I had a dad and he’s willing to be there and support me in all the ways a dad would and I outright refuse. Half the time I won’t even talk to him and when I do it’s to tell him to leave me alone.

I didn’t go to his and my mom’s wedding. I left before mom could drag me to the venue and spent the day with my family instead. My mom came after the ceremony to try and drag me there anyway but I refused to go. I told her clearly that day and several times before the wedding that I did not support her and Nick and I would never acknowledge or accept him into my family. My mom hates it and told me she expects better. I told her I don’t really care.

We fight about it a lot. Mom has asked me to try for her sake and she told me to give Nick a chance because I never really knew him. She told me I shouldn’t hold onto my dad’s grudge forever. I reminded her of Nick’s threat after dad died and she told me he was younger and being petty but I don’t need to hold that against him forever. She told me he’s really trying and he’s upset I won’t try too. I told her his feelings were not my concern.

I wanted to move out but my mom shut down that idea and she told me I’m staying until I’m 18 and she will fight and do everything in her power to stop me leaving before then. So I gave in. I’m not looking for a shitshow. It’s almost a year but I can keep avoiding Nick and I can avoid my mom easily enough because her focus is less on being a mom now and more on trying to make us one big happy family.

My mom’s really been on me the last few weeks about giving Nick a shot and she even involved her best friend to tell me I was being unfair to mom. That mom deserved to be happy after everything and Nick’s not the awful guy I think he is. She said refusing to build a relationship won’t bring my dad back. That made me eye roll so hard because I never expected it to. But it’s getting annoying to do so much avoiding so I won’t have to hear that stuff. Which makes me come here to ask AITA for not trying?