I (27F) am getting married this fall, and I’ve decided that my mom will walk me down the aisle. She raised me alone after my dad (55M) left when I was 3. He was mostly absent—only popping in for birthdays when it was convenient for him, and even then, he’d often cancel last minute.
We reconnected briefly when I was in college, but it was awkward, and he never really apologized or took accountability for not being there. I’ve since kept my distance, though we’re civil.
When he found out about my wedding, he assumed he would walk me down the aisle. I told him gently that I’d already asked my mom, because she’s the one who was there for me my whole life.
He got furious, said I was being disrespectful, and claimed I was “punishing him forever” for mistakes he made when he was young. My stepmother even called me crying, saying I was embarrassing him publicly.
Some of my extended family say I should “be the bigger person” and “give him that moment” since he’s still my father. But honestly? I don’t feel he’s earned it.
AITA for refusing to let him walk me down the aisle?