I (30M) have been dating Maya (28F) for almost three years. We live together, split rent and bills evenly, and keep our finances separate—something we both agreed on early in the relationship.

Recently, she opened up and told me she’s $12,000 in credit card debt, mostly from online shopping, takeout, and a few vacations she took with her friends before we met. I was supportive emotionally and even helped her set up a budget and look into consolidation options.

Then last week, she sat me down and said she’d been thinking… and asked if I could just pay it off for her. She said I make more money than she does (which is true), and that it wouldn’t “even be a dent” in my savings. She framed it as “an investment in our future.”

I was shocked. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable taking on her personal debt, especially since we never agreed to combine finances or even talked about marriage seriously yet.

She got really upset, saying I was “prioritizing money over love” and that she’d “do it for me if the roles were reversed.” She’s been cold and distant ever since, and a couple of her friends messaged me saying I’m “stingy” and “financially controlling.”

I don’t think I’m obligated to pay someone else’s debt just because I can.

AITA for refusing?