I (26F) am not my dad’s wife’s biggest fan. Honestly, I can’t stand her. They’ve been together since around 2021–2022. After my parents’ divorce, my dad dated a lot but none of the relationships lasted longer than a few months. I figured this one would be the same.

When I got married, I let him bring her even though they were only dating. I didn’t want him to travel alone. Huge mistake. She caused drama the entire weekend—complained about not being included in hair/makeup with my bridal party, threw a fit over where she was seated for the 15-minute ceremony, and got wasted before it even started.

She had to be escorted back to her room while crying hysterically… in front of most of my guests. Thankfully, she came back and didn’t cause more issues, but then played the victim when I didn’t want to talk to her afterward.

Four months later, we found out they got married before they even got engaged—without telling me or my sister. That was a slap in the face. I thought I was close with my dad. We tried to be supportive, but it still hurt. Since then, it’s been pretty obvious she doesn’t like us.

She acts weirdly territorial—like she’s competing with me for my dad’s attention which is disturbing. Constantly touching him when I’m around, basically sitting in his lap, I can’t call him when he’s with her because she listens, and she always has excessive amounts of cleavage showing as if I’m a threat. That’s my dad, so I definitely not a threat that’s disturbing.

She also made it clear her kids come first. Her two kids (college-aged) still live at home and treat my dad like he doesn’t exist—rude, disrespectful, and she allows it. Meanwhile, she’s done subtle things to push my sister and me away, like having different rules for her kids vs my sister when she lived with them and always needing to be around when we hang out with our dad. Her kids didn’t talk to my sister the whole year they all lived together. She buys everything for her rude kids and they both barely work. Her daughter gets monthly facials and massages while my sister and I have never had that luxury in this economy. My sister and I are the problem and her kids are the exception. She made sure that if something happened to my dad my sister and I now have to split everything with her kids…even though her kids don’t like my dad. She inserts herself in conflicts between my dad and us, as if he needs protection from his own daughters. I’ve snapped at her for this before. It’s hard to put into words but as a woman I can tell when another woman doesn’t like me and my dad’s wife does NOT like me.

She calls herself our “stepmom,” which feels like a joke—I was already married when they met. She didn’t raise me, and now she’s calling herself grandma to my kid? No he already has two biological grandmas.

Now the current situation: My dad told me he gave her an ultimatum—her oldest needs to move out, or he’s moving out. She promised her kid would leave soon. He truthfully doesn’t seem happy and has said stuff like she’s a bad mom and that he regrets moving in with her and her kids. And here’s where I might be the AH…