HUGE RANT: AITA? I’m 37 weeks pregnant and my husband’s mom seems to be making my pregnancy about her. For context – MIL is incredibly excited to be a first (and possibly only) – time grandma. Additionally, hubby’s brother passed away when we were young adults, so hubby is now an only child.

MIL still has a very hard time with the loss of her first son, and hubby is now the last of his family name until our girl enters as the next generation, so the grandchild pressure has always been HUGE on us.

edit: to add to the relevance of family loss: our daughter is due on MIL’s late son’s/husband’s late brother’s birthday…

I can’t help but feel like MIL is making my pregnancy about her. In the beginning, we asked her specifically not to tell anyone until we decided to tell people, and within seconds of us telling her, she had her phone in her hand and was texting family. She’s also a hairdresser and told every single one of her clients that she was going to be a grandma.

She thrifted literally one of everything for her house without consulting us. She had a “grandma shower” with some of her “old ladies” who she cuts hair for at a convalescent home, and reported to me (not asking) that she’s going to be bringing my daughter there and letting all the ladies take turns holding my kid whenever she does hair there.

She fully expects to be in the delivery room with me (not happening…I might not even want guests at the hospital). Hubby and I went to dinner with her tonight and tried to manage her expectations a bit. It didn’t go well. She kept telling us she is taking our child every Friday (we didn’t even get a say in the day. It’s just her day off.) Hubby said, “maybe when we’re both back to work.” She s

aid, “No, right away. Every Friday I’m either taking her or sleeping over your house.” He said, “What if we want a Friday with our daughter?” She said, “No. Fridays are my day with my granddaughter.”

I was so mad that I blurted out, “are you going to file for joint custody too? You don’t get to choose.”

I feel badly for being rude, but I honestly can’t believe her entitlement that she thinks she gets a set schedule with our child who isn’t even born yet!

I’m not even going to get started on the fact that she is constantly referencing the way she parented as the standard (and some of the practices are incredibly antiquated) and is pretty condescending when I have a dissenting opinion.

This is possibly unfair psychoanalysis stemming from my rage, but it’s taking everything in me to not tell her that she is not my child’s parent and she can’t use my child to fill the void from her own child loss, so she needs to back off, enjoy the privilege of being a grandparent, and let us be the parents.

I know when baby gets here that I’ll be welcoming help and advice, even from her, and much of this is me being angry and overprotective as a first time-parent. AITAH for feeling this way and thinking these things?