My husband (36M) and I (30F) have a 17-month-old son (we’ll call him Ray). We live in the UK and I am originally from Canada. We recently went on a lovely family vacation (just the 3 of us) to Spain and have already been talking about going back again next year.

The dilemma we have come to is that we had previously talked about going to Canada next year, and for financial reasons, we won’t be able to afford both trips. We would much prefer going back to Spain but feel like we have to go to Canada because Ray still has paternal great-grandparents (who are too old to travel now), although I am not close with my father or his parents. It’s more of a, we’d better visit them before one or both of them passes away.

We dread even the thought of going to Canada for several reasons: (1) the travel time, which includes a connecting flight and which we don’t like doing just as a couple, never mind with a toddler in tow and (2) the whole trip would feel like an obligation/chore.

I have also been thinking recently that neither my father nor his parents have gifted Ray anything since he was born while I have spent money sending them little mementos (photo book, etc.). In my culture, it’s customary for relatives to gift money to acknowledge the birth of a new child. I don’t doubt that they would gift money in person, but with the distance, I would’ve thought that even if my grandparents are not tech-savvy, they would ask my father to send over even a little something as a gesture. However, my father has told me that his parents have said that they want us to visit them in Canada.

So AITA for wanting to go on a family vacation to Spain again next year even though we “should” go to Canada?