I’m (19f) almost finished my freshman year of college. When I moved out in July I knew I didn’t want to go home to live or even spend the night again. When I went home for Christmas I stayed with grandparents. When I visited for birthdays I stayed with my grandparents. This was talked about but I put my foot down and told my parents and sister (15) that it’s how it would be. They didn’t like it but I didn’t give in.

My grandparents have agreed to let me stay for the summer. My parents were upset when they heard I was going to my grandparents again instead of coming home. They told me my old room is there just like I left it.

The problem for me is it’s not my old room. It was mine and my sister’s room. We always shared and I hated it. My sister was never my favorite person but I was her almost always and she does not respect boundaries or personal space. She was a clinger and she made sharing with her miserable for me.

She was climbing into my bed at night and I found out a few years ago that she’d spill stuff on her bed intentionally at times just to share with me, she was always trying to cuddle me without consent and even when I explicitly said no, she would never respect the one hour rule where we were supposed to be aloud the room for one hour without the other going in.

Not to mention she was so messy and would bring food into the room and let it spoil. She had this candle she loved the scent of but I hated and it gave me so many headaches.

Even without the room she was clingy. She always wanted to spend time with me. She got jealous when I went out with friends. She tried to drag me along to hang outs with her friends. I couldn’t do anything without her begging to tag along. There was never enough time dedicated to her. If we did something together she’d throw a fit when it ended and it was worse if I went to do something else with someone else. And she’d skip plans with her friends, even parties, if I had nothing on. That happened so much that some of her friends stopped being her friends because she’d do this stuff without telling them. And she’d cry when I didn’t hang out with her after she skipped stuff.

Our parents never helped. They told me sharing a room was good for us and being so close was good for us. When I told them the closeness was one sided they told me I’d look back when I was in college and I’d be glad I had those years because I’d be miserable without her and I’d be stuck with some roommate who wouldn’t make me so happy.

The truth is I finally feel like I can breathe. I don’t miss my sister. I don’t look back fondly on the years we shared a room. The reason I never go back to my parents is I’d be right back to sharing with her and I could never do it again. When I was visiting she was just as clingy and she gets angry when I don’t text her and call her every day.

I have tried to set boundaries before with my sister. I tried to bargain with her too. But she’d ignore my boundaries and ignore my bargains and she’d do what she wanted.

My sister’s upset I’m not coming home to stay for the summer. She asked our grandparents if she could stay with them for the summer too and they told her they didn’t have space. She said it was okay and we’d share their spare bedroom. But the answer was no.

My parents told me I’m being childish and sharing is normal and I’m not okay if I don’t miss it at all. They said everyone complains about sharing as kids but when they spread their wings they miss the comfort of it. And they said a good sibling would never hate that time with their sibling.

AITA?