I’m married to Ryan, who has a chronic illness that rules his life. We have a somewhat open relationship. Ryan can’t perform sexually very often due to his illness, and the days where he can, it kicks off incredible fatigue.

I’d rather we be able to go for a walk together or go out and do something most of the time, and so would he. We have been together for 15 years and in the past 7 have had sex 5 times. Yes, it’s incredibly sad.

Probably 6 years ago, Ryan offered to open up the marriage for me. I was hesitant for a very, very long time, like 3 years after his first offer. But I do have my own needs. Over the past years I’ve had 2 other men who I’ve had sexual relationships with.

A nurse, Greg and college professor Sam. They always know the situation up front, and both men have been incredibly respectful. They know from the start that I would never leave Ryan, and that he will always be my priority.

A few weeks ago, the college professor Sam, and I were at a restaurant after we’d had sex. We were being a little goofy, and my sister in law happened to catch us while she was out with her daughter. I didn’t know until much later, when I was added to a group chat where I was immediately confronted and told what a disgusting, horrible sloot I am for cheating. They all took turns reaming me out and saying all kinds of things to me about how heartless I am.

When the messages slowed down I told them “Ryan knows, we have an open marriage.” I explained a little bit more.

They all started apologizing, except my SIL who then tore into me for keeping this a secret and making it seem like it was something it wasn’t. I heard her out but told her that the adult thing to do would have been to confront me one on one so I could tell her and she wouldn’t have embarrassed herself like this. She said that she shouldn’t have to and that it was degenerate behavior to begin with.

Of course she is insisting this is entirely my fault. I have always had some difficulty seeing beyond my own perspective, so really, am I? To be clear I mean that we haven’t told anyone. I don’t care what anyone thinks about the open relationship itself.