I 22F currently live with my mother and younger sister. Over the past 4 years, I’ve been suffering from what I believe is Child favoritism and mistreatment, and could really use others’ opinions on whether my choices are valid or not.

To start, between my 2 sisters (My oldest sister living with my grandma), I was always more on the independent side, as I was always determined to focus on myself to get on the right path with my life.

Though that all went downhill after I came back from dropping out of college 4 years ago. The reason for my dropout is not only being financially unstable, but also for the college to put me in the wrong major, only for them to tell me they don’t have the said such major that I wanted (Luckily, I caught it only 3 months into my first year). 

Since I had come back from college, I decided to focus on working to save up money to eventually go back to school, but also mainly save up for a car. During that time, I began to notice a shift in my mother’s behavior. For instance, when I would ask her if she would take me to work, she would catch a nasty attitude with me, vice versa when I asked her if she could pick me up.

Which confused me as my younger sister was working as well, and my mom had no issues with taking her and picking her up from work. That already started to put some distance between us, as I was not in the mood to put up with her attitude. For weeks, I kept my distance from her. Though after some time, I decided to look past her behavior as I thought it was from her being stressed out from her job,  so I decided to take the bus after being suggested to do so by a previous work colleague. From the on for months she would not take me to work, but there was a time I missed the bus on accident and walked back home to ask if she can take me to work, and of course you guessed it, she gave me a attitude before going to grab her keys to take me. It took me by surprise as it was the first time I had asked her to do so in months.

Now, to give you guys a heads up, I told my mom that I was focusing on obtaining a car as it was my main priority. To which she agreed and even told me that she would assist me. I was a bit skeptical but thought nothing of it and accepted. Over the next course of months I worked hard and was only a few 100 dollars away from getting a car, excited I told my mom that I was close and would like to go out looking at options to get an idea on what i want (I am not a picky person if it has wheels I will take it). Thinking back on it, I should not have told her. All of a sudden issues were happening, and she kept asking for money, telling me that she would pay me back (which still to this day, I have not gotten anything back). It kept happening and kept happening to the point that I was back at zero. It bumbed me out, but I tried to look past it as I was helping my mom, that’s what I should do as her daughter. After a while, after the ‘issues’ were resolved, we received a letter saying that rent was passed due. That’s when my mom asked me to help her with paying the rent with a small portion, to which I agreed. Then one day at work, I received a call from my aunt, who was telling me that the house was padlocked. That confused me. How were we padlocked from the house when I was helping her with the rent?

My rent portion that I was giving her, was she using it on something else?

Many things were running through my head: confusion, sadness, but also anger. What the hell happened for us to be in this situation? 

The thing is, we ended up living with my grandma, which was already brutal and stressed me out, but what I found funny was that during our time there, my mom was being overally nice to me, Asking me what time I have to go in to work and that she can take me. That’s when it clicked for me, she’s being nice to me because we’re around the other family members.

I took up her offer for a day or 2 but then I went back to the bus, thats when my aunt noticed that I was taking the bus and was confused, I told her I started taking it when my mom couldn’t take me to work since she also had to go in at the same time.

Soon after things were the same, we ended up staying with my grandma for 1 week before going back to the house. Of course, once we were back that’s when she started having her fits and attitude again. I knew it would happen, and I just let her be and stayed to myself. Things has been going on like that for a while, but what set the bomb in our relationship was during a time I closed at my job, when taking the bus to the depot I wasn’t aware that the bus that takes me home had changed, so I ended up going on a bus that went in the complete opposite from me. Thinking it was a small detour, I stayed on it for a few more minutes until I started to realize this wasn’t the path the bus would normally go, so in a panic, I asked for the next stop and got off. It was already hitting 11PM it was dark and cold, the only thing I saw was a college campus across the street and a little convenience store behind me. Already stressed and panicking, I called my mom to ask her to tell her my current situation and asked if she could come get me. You guys won’t believe it, she told me that she was too tired to get me and then asked why did I get on that bus anyway. Really? Your daughter is calling you asking for help as she doesn’t know where she is, and thats all you can say? I stood silent for a couple of seconds in disbelif before I started to tear up in anger, before she could even continue talking, I hung up the phone and called my older sister. There I started bawling, I’m surprised she even understood me from my crying and small panic attack.  It took a few minutes, but my sister finally came and got me and took me home. You won’t believe what I saw when I opened the door, my mom sitting on the couch, eating food while watching tv. Seriously? I was livid, I wanted to shout at her but didn’t Instead, I walked right past her and went straight to my room, slamming the door really hard to let her know that I was angry with her.

Never will I ever forget and forgive her for that day. Over the next course of years, our relationship was nonexistent, and it made it no better as she would treat my younger sister better than me, helping her when she was in need and everything. Oh, I forgot to mention that my sister was in fact not helping with the rent. 

After a couple of months my mom decided to move houses as that house wasn’t working for her.

During the moving process, she decided to do the most dumb thing I could possibly think of and quit her job. So I had to take the responsibility to help us move, aka buying a rental truck, etc. 

During the first 2 months living in the house we currently stay at, I’ve been the one who was paying the bills, putting food in the house etc, It was tiring, I would be struggling, living paycheck to paycheck, trying to keep a roof over our heads. While also trying to focus on my car situation. During that time my mom decided to be helpful and take me to work. Though that didn’t last as, as soon as she found her another job she went back to her old ways. Though she did tell me I didn’t have to cover the full rent anymore and only needed to give her a small portion since I’m still trying to get my car even till this day. She even told my younger sister to pay a portion as well, which I was grateful for as it was unfair that she didn’t have to pay at the last house. Ever since I have not once missed giving her my portion of the rent. 

Things got worse when my younger sister decided to quit her job back in October of last year. She said the work environment wasn’t good, which is fair and understandable. Quitting her job, my mom was already stressed out and me as well, at one point, my mom actually started talking to me, complaining about my sister telling me that she needs to hurry up and get a job as she can’t keep covering her portion of the rent. I said nothing as I thought it wasn’t really my problem until later on she asked me to pay more than what I originally paid for, aka my younger sister’s rent portion, and to also help with other bills. It was annoying but I had no room to complain as I didn’t want us to be homeless. But I found it especially more annoying as since my sister quit her job without telling me and my mom, I had to pay our phone bill, which was racking up to $350 a month because I helped her back then on getting a new phone.

It had been 2 months since my sister has been unemployed, I started noticing that my mom would stop talking to me and talk to my sister, both of them stuck by the hip with one another, That didn’t affect me at all, as I preferred to be on my own, But was baffled me is I would ask for one small favor and my mom would get angry at me , but when my unemployed sister asked for something she would do it. I remember a time I asked if she could take me to work, she got annoyed and told me that she couldn’t cause she had to go in, but I found out that was all a lie, I had a short shift that day so when it was over I asked my older sister if she could come get me as I didn’t want to take the bus home, she agreed. I guess my mom didn’t expect me to come earlier than I thought, cause as soon as my sister pulled up to the house I seen my mom and younger sister coming out her car with multiple shopping bags. I didn’t even look at her, I just walked passed her and went to my room. I could already tell that she was lying when she told me she had to work, Did she forget that she told me on certain days she always had that day off. I dont know if its selfish to say but I find it crazy on how she can treat someone who technically helped us not be homeless over someone who is jobless and might I add, not even trying her hardest to find another job. It’s been like that for a while, it took my sister until the middle of March for her to find a job. 

Now to dive into me and my younger sister’s relationship who is 19F, its not really the best, when younger everything was fine but over the course of years she would be unreasonable?

There was a moment when me and I got into a huge argument during the first stay at the current house we lived in,  she got angry at me because I decided to buy food for the house instead of paying the internet bill. Yes you read the correctly over the internet. Every time something happens with it she’ll rush out her room like the world is ending, it is never that serious, but to her it was, we were going back and forward, she even threatened to get physical. Really? Again this is over the internet, grow up. If you need it that badly go to the library. After that we never really been on good terms as one that sister’s should share.

Of course I started to distance myself from her but my mom would try everything to try to make us make up, which i was probably being petty and telling her to stop trying as Im not going to deal with her.

Now up until recently Me and my Best friend who I love dearly I consider her more of a family than my biological ones she’s been with me through everything, She would listen to my complaints and give her input on things, but besides that we planned to go on a 4 day 3 night trip to Atlanta, Mainly to go to a concert that she got tickets for us to go see our favorite artist. But here’s the thing, I know you guys are going to yell at me but the artist we are going to see my younger sister liked them, and if you can guess where this is going, I invited her as well, but before I invited her I asked her if she wanted to go as me and my sister always wanted to see this artist. She agreed, The plan was for me to get me and my sisters tickets but during the presale on my end I was having complications but my friend was able to get in without any issues, so I asked her if she could get me and my sisters and we will pay her back to which she agreed.  When my friend got the tickets I told my sister who was overally excited and she told me that she would give my friend her portion, which was $300 (Prior to this happening my sister was still knew at her job and woulnd’t get her first check until 2 weeks later, so I would have ended up buying me and her’s tickets). After that, my sister would come to me to tell me what she plans to wear and what places we could go down in atlanta. But 4 days ago when I told my sister about the plans on buying train tickets, she told me that she decided not to go. Confused and annoyed I asked her what her reasoning was and she told me that her and her online friend, yes, ONLINE FRIEND decided to go on a trip to Minnesota…

Annoyed I broke the news to my friend, she did give me a scolding as she told me that she figured this might happen and I need to stop being nice to which I agree with now heavily. It really ticked me off as not only did my friend by us the tickets that currently shes not able to resell 1 of the seats, it will force her to sell all 3, but I had also booked us an AirBNB down there which costed a lot.  

After that 2 days ago my friend sent me a message saying my sister sent her a long text message that could be a mini book series, basically implying that she wasn’t going to pay her, her portion of the ticket and that I didn’t give her a heads up that I was going to get tickets (which is a lie as when the artist dropped the tour dates I told her that i was going to get us tickets), and as for the airbnb (she didn’t know I was the one who bought it) she would pay for the small cancellation fee. Then proceeded to say she has many bills to catch up on, but last thing I remember she’s been spending her money on self-care and outfits and not her rent portion, so I’m confused on what bills she’s talking about.

That set me off there, cause I couldn’t believe that she was trying to lie and say I didn’t give her a heads up when I clearly did, We bought those tickets back in the middle of March, she just made plans for Minnesota 1 week ago.

Becuase of that until we are able to see if my friend is able to resale the 1 ticket once it gets closer to the concert, I will have to basically give my friend $650 which i didnt have any issues with giving her my portion but having to do my sister because she doesn’t want to pay for it, its a bit insane in my opinion, I don’t know if im being dramatic or not but thats what I think.

With me having to worry about saving money for this trip, me paying my friend back and my job not being really good when it comes to pay, with me also dealing with low hours, AITAH for wanting to stop giving my mom my rent portion just until I can get everything situated? I wasn’t going to stop completely only until after the concert, which is set in july. Im thinking about telling my mom what I plan to do but Im not sure if I should go through with it or not I could also use some advice.