My fiance(28m) and i(29f) have been engaged for 3 months. This weekend he wanted to talk. He basically told me that he has read lots of stories about wife losing her libido and putting husband through dead bedroom or once a week sex.
He said he will never accept this fate for himself and if I neglect him sexually he will likely have sex with other women as in cheating on me. He felt that he needed to tell me this because sex is important to him and he needs me to understand that he is not gonna be the guy who jerks off in garage like a loser for rest of his life and if I potentially want him to be okay with less sex, then he is not the one for me.
I was stunned and started to cry. He tried to console me and told me that he won’t cheat if I got sick and can’t have sex but he doesn’t want to be neglected sexually otherwise.
I left and I have been reconsidering the engagement. I talked to my mom and she just said to me that he is just saying this, he won’t cheat and he won’t have time to cheat when he is busy with household responsibility. My friends said that any man will eventually cheat if he is not getting it at home so even if I leave him I will be in the same position with any other man.
Don’t get me wrong, I have friends who are supportive of me. It’s just that everyone likes him, especially my mom. She thinks I am missing a lifetime opportunity if I leave him.
What makes me more mad is that he himself is most supportive of me about this whole thing. He is understanding and acknowledges that I may not feel safe with him because of his comments. He is telling me to make the decision on my own and don’t care about what my mom has to say, because it’s my life.
He has never given me any reason to doubt him or see him in bad light. It’s the best relationship, that’s why I agreed to marry him.
I get that sex is important, but still would all men risk their marriage for it.. I am filled with doubts…
I appreciate your advice and responses. BUT please don’t call me “girl”. My mom calls me “girl” when she is being condescending. So yeah.
I appreciate your responses though.