I(37 M) and my husband(34 M) have been married for 16 years, and dating for 18, and he has an older sister(42 F) who has been living with us for the past six months.

A little context, his sisters ex husband had been having an affairs and when she found out, her husband left for the new woman, taking partial custody over their son (11 M) and daughter(6 F).

He got the house and most of their finances as well. My Husband Jack had told her that she was welcome to stay with us for a week or two until she could find somewhere more permanent, and while this was all ok with me, he had never talked with me before hand, and the house is all in my name. Well, that “week or two” turned into six months and 13 days.

She’s been living in our basement, but when the children come over every other weekend, it makes the house very chaotic, which makes it hard for me to sleep during the day, since I work nights as a police dispatcher.

Her children also tend to make a mess, and sometimes my husband will offer to watch them is my sister in law wants to go out. His sister does not have a job, and, as far as we know, has not been looking for one. Last night, my husband and I were having trouble finding a compromise to the situation.

I think that it’s unfair us to take in his sister, mainly because when my brother had disowned my nephew(19 m), for being trans, my husband was very against the idea that he would be allowed to live in our house rent free, even though he was only 16 at the time.

I brought this us to my husband and his response was “that was not a grown up trying to provide for their family. Plus he had a job and would’ve been able to pay us rent”. My husbands family and I have always had a very strong relationship, and I don’t want this to end that, but I think it’s infair to us that we pay all her bills and watch her kids for her, and she can’t even pay us a little rent to help cover these sorts of things. Am I in the wrong here?